So someone asked me who was
https://grownfolkstalking.wordpress.com/2010/04/09/late-bloomer/ about? Now this someone was a current friend and a person I used to date. My response, “why do you want to know?” Her reply, “just because.” This turned into a huge issue for some reason. We went back and forth with her asking “who,” and me responding with “what’s the difference.” All I wanted was a reasonable and logical answer as to the significance of knowing the subject of the blog’s name (“just because” is not good enough). Now, this issue has come up before, not just with this particular person, but in general with many women I know. Why is it important that you know the name of someone from my past? You have never met them. You never will. You don’t know them, what they look like, who they are. I don’t talk to that person any more. Why is the name important? Will someone enlighten me please…
BookerDubois
bookerdubois
Grown Folks Talking
jaidevivre
mrsgrownlady
Youmiss
Grown Folks Talking... 
Lol, this is hilarious! I would have been more surprised if you said that NO ONE had expressed interest in learning “her” identity. I will admit to mild curiosity, myself. I was like, “I knew him at 26.” Also, though, I knew it wasn’t about me, so I wasn’t pressed about it. I suspect that if you had said as bluntly to your friend, “You have never met [her]. You never will,” that might have been enough. Can’t speak for her, but I imagine what she really wanted to know was if SHE was the girl you were talking about.
I will also admit that I have done this. Fairly recently in fact. For me there are 3 reasons. First, I get tired of you using descriptors. “My last girlfriend, the one who cheated on me with her baby’s daddy…” Isn’t it faster to say Tiffany? Definitely if it’s someone you bring up enough (and you probably do more than you realize), just use a name. Second, the fact that you clearly don’t want to makes me suspicious. If she’s nobody, what difference does it make if I know her name? Which leads to the final reason- at some point, you will tell me her name. If only to forestall an argument. And if there does come a time when I feel like you’re not doing the right thing, Tiffany’s name is the first one I’m looking for in your call log.
Yes, I also have to agree that I would be surprise if no one would ask. : ) Inquisitive minds want to know… but I completely respect you wanted to keep that private between you and that woman.
I’d also like to reply on the post from last week because for whatever reason I attended to but obviously did not comment.
First of all GREAT post!
I know I have been in both sides. I have left someone in the dust for waiting too long and I have been the one looking broke on the other side. I believe though through all of experiences, we learn to love better and that is how we grow to be real women and men. I feel that all of the experiences that I have had in love helped me to find my husband and helped me to appreciate him better than I ever would have at age 21 or 22. In fact at age 21 or 22, I might have missed him completely if we had met and he probably would have missed me too because he also was not ready. I think that when you find that person who you are suppose to be with you will know and you will have a deeper love and respect for that one because of what you been through.Consider it all blessings : )
@ Booker:
She wanted to know if-
A) If she was the girl that you were talking about- possibly interested in you all resuming the relationship or
B) If she wasn’t the girl, then who the hell was she and what did this girl have that was so special
I honestly don’t want to know about a guy’s past girlfriends and such, mostly because jealousy is a pain in the ass and I don’t want to put myself in a position to be curious and start playing facebook stalker for this girl.
I mean, is she prettier than me? Does the girl look smart? If by appearance she looks like a 2 when I’m an 8, then I wouldn’t feel nearly as insecure.
LOL @ “who the hell was she and what did this girl have that was so special!”
You killed me with that one. It’s funny cuz it’s true… 🙂
@Jai: You know that’s what she had said…
I think she’s trying to see who might have tamed BookerDubois.
Give her the girl’s name so she can take a few lessons!
ha! that’s funny!