Today is the last day of regular blogging for Jai de Vivre and myself. What a year. Each of us debated about the best way to end a regular tie with the blog. It’s not like we had a huge blow up fight with the blog or like the blog cheated on us. In the standard idea of a “relationship” it’s just time.
For the most part, I try to end relationships with as little drama as possible. My hope is that once the relationship is finished, part of the “growing” process is to take the experiences in the relationship and incorporate them in a way that will ultimately make me a stronger, more intelligent, well-rounded person. This is no different. The things that I have learned will somehow be incorporated into my new life in New Orleans. A life that will likely be filled with shenanigans that I would like to liken to The Hangover, minus the marriage to a stripper. Though I will likely meet a few…
Jai de Vivre revisited some of her favorite discussions this week. As an overall wrap up, I will give a summary of what I have learned from our discussions on this blog.
1. “Strictly platonic” is sometimes bullsh*t: We hotly debated the ability to have a close platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Some of the fellas debated that there is no reason to maintain relationships with ex-boyfriends. The argument- 1) it is impossible to maintain a friendship once it has already hit the relationship mark and 2) it could interfere with the new significant other. The debates seems to be particularly elevated in cases where one of the parties is single. Part of the reason for this is the risk for developing emotional infidelity in a relationship. It’s not “physically” cheating, but it is still painful for the significant other. Ironically, the women argued that relationships can be maintained with ex-boyfriends as long as their are clear boundaries that both parties followed. So ultimately there was no consensus in this matter.
2. You can’t make a hoopty into a Lincoln: Many women get into relationships with men they need to “fix”. I agree that I am willing to date a man with potential since I am convinced that we all continue to bloom over the course of a life span. What I cannot accept is someone where there is a substantial disparity in our life paths. Potential is someone who is on the path, but hasn’t quite made it there yet. Perhaps he has the tools, motivation, and ability, but just needs some support. Either way, the person has to have my common basic values. I’m not going to try to make an unfaithful man faithful or a thug into a metrosexual. If he has potential, fine. If I think he needs to be fixed, then this is not the place I want to be.
3. I can sleep with as many men as I want as long as I’m a discrete ho: As allueded to in past posts, there are gender differences in sexuality standards. Women like to minimize the number of partners, but men recognize that this is a lie (“You have only been with 5 men… Ok were you born with those extra jaw muscles?”). I like that I can take this attitude with me to New Orleans. Not that I consider my p***y to be liberated; I have no interest in threesomes or being some love-crazed psycho-jumpoff but if I choose to
actanabsolutedonkey engage in some grown business it’s nice to know it’s ok as long as I maintain my lady stride.
GF, do you agree with my “life lessons” or am I truly misinformed?
Thanks for a wonderful year!