Thanks to you GFT readers, I have taken initiative. I was more forward than I would EVER be with a potential guy of interest. While I figured this burst of initiative would leave me feeling confident in my abilities, I have to say that I am more anxious than I expected.
This
Really
Blows.
It led me to have a new appreciation of being a woman. There are several reasons that I would NEVER want to be a guy.
- Men are expected to initiate talking/dating situations: Apparently, this whole thing is more anxiety-provoking than I appreciate and I don’t know the odds of me ever doing it again.
- Men have expectations to do things they can’t or don’t want to do: When I was younger, my bevy of aunts told me some rules to dealing with men. I should always get them to move or fix things when they are present (because men like to be helpful they said). They should pay when you go out on a date (modern rap has taught me that men appreciate women picking up the tab…) It would seriously suck if there was some expectation that I should fix things when I came to your house. Good luck with that.
- Men are only allowed to be emotional to an extent: Men are allowed to be angry, happy, and cranky, but that’s about it. Granted, I’m trained as a therapist so I know these stereotypes to be unjust, but it still would be terrible if you felt social pressure to constrain emotions. I mean, feeling guilty about crying during The Notebook?! I would lose right away.
- Pressure (from other men) to be sex kings: Yes, pressure from other men. Women already have the expectation that you will probably not be her biggest or her best. We just want the getting to be pretty damn decent. I also get little pressure from other women about my sexual prowess. Other than encouraging some new tricks or positions, women do not have this sex competition.
Grown Folks, do you agree or disagree? What things do you think would be terrible about being the opposite sex?
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Grown Folks Talking
jaidevivre
Youmiss
mrsgrownlady
bookerdubois
3. Yeah you’re right about this. The fact that I’ve cried like four times since ’96 gives me perspective on this. You want me to emote but if I turn into Kanye West there’s a problem. I’ll stay the same.
4. Number four kind of goes away when your like 17. As a guy if number four doesn’t change EVER then you and your friends are meatheads.
Things about the other sex that I couldn’t do.
1. Pregnancy. If I were a chick there’s no way I’m letting a dude do that to me. I’d have to go lesibian and my chick would be bad.
2. The cycle. Wow. Just wow.
3. Other women. I would seriously not hang around other women.
4. The upkeep. Staying fancy costs to much. Not to mention you would have to hang around other women in salons.
I could go on but I won’t.
@Wu,
LOL, you’re right 100% about how the perception changes when a guy is overly emotional. I’ve lost complete respect for a couple of guys after seeing what I considered to be effiminate behavior.
As to your list, #3 is hilarious and true. Other women are HARD to get along with a lot of the time. On the other hand, if you’re the type of chick who can’t EVER get along with ANY other woman, there’s something wrong with you…
Yep, the emotional double standard is a big one. I’ve actually lost complete respect for Kanye West as a man because of this. Not that I ever had any. His cd is dope though.
I need to go and get the KW cd… at least his music doesn’t reflect his attitude problem right now.
Is Kanye now in that effiminate category that Usher and Trey Songz demonstrated? Maybe.
#3: Women can be pretty catty. That’s why I choose my women carefully. There is nothing worse than having a hater in your space full time.
Kanye is a different kind of effiminate than Trey or Usher. Usher and Trey have been told they are cute about 80,000,000 times too many and they fell for it. Kanye is more of a petulant child who keeps doing cart wheels in the living room while the adults are a talking just trying to get someone to comment on said cart wheel.
I guess that makes sense.
I’m not sure when KW became such a whiner, but…
In terms of sex king, I hope the behavior goes away, but I think that it evolves over the years *ahem* college years… I was hanging with a couple of friends in the common area of the guys dorm where two guys were literally running a train on a girl in their room. Each guy kept coming out to get a drink of water/koolaid and had a nerve to stop and have conversation (notably with a pink condom on…)
Wu- I completely agree with the upkeep. As a student, sometimes there is a life decision that has to be made when it is time for that relaxer… and 95% of the time the relaxer wins.
As for the train thing. This has nothing to do with being a sex king it’s just some ninja being nasty. I love the company of my friends but there are somethings that I never want to do with them. I have no desire to see my friends f*** faces either.
The train mentality stems from a sense of entitlement. Throw in a testosterone laden environemnt and a few girls who A) Have no shame. B) Have low self-esteem but cover it up with my p****y is liberated so there… and you’ve got the situation that you described from the dorm.
Any man will tell you that he wants to be the sex king. A grown man only wants to be the sex king for his woman. As long a I keep Moneypenny’s permed sweated out I have nothing to prove to anyone else. (There goes that upkeep thing again._
I’ve never thought about this, but you’re right. I’m not at all certain that I would want to be a boy. Although there are definitely lots of double standards that benefit them, I think I’m good wehre I’m at…
@Wu: claiming to have liberated p***y?! Bwahaha!
The worst thing was no one else seemed shocked by this activity. Like just another day in the dorm… Smh