Fixer Upper

I never understood the male obsession with fixing up old cars. I remember watching one of my ex-boyfriends working on an old car in his garage. He was always excited about getting a new part or adding new material to the seats in hopes of making this car perfect. Of course, I inquired about the possibility of purchasing a new car. I felt like there was security in a new car, a warranty that guaranteed that there would be minimal risk or at least some comfort in knowing that the problem could easily be fixed. He always felt that it was less about the new car and more about the process and outcome. In working on the car, he put in effort to make the car just as he wanted.

This memory ironically reminded me about a quote that I heard at one of my infamous Girls’ Meeting. According to some philosophical prodigy, men are more likely to marry in hopes that their woman will not change, whereas women marry in hopes that their man will change. In some way, I realized that maybe the idea of a guy fixing a car was similar in concept to a woman trying to fix a man. Similar to other women, I have fallen into the hopes that this “almost perfect” guy could somehow be molded to be the perfect man. What does it matter that he has no motivation? Fails to give complements? Has no idea if he wants to be single or in a relationship? If I work hard enough, I can change him. No problem.

Thankfully, I am older and wiser. I am back to my old thoughts of just wanting a new car with a warranty. I have no desire to change him and I know that the security of our solid relationship is comfort enough for me to feel that I can depend on him as a person.

So the questions for today: Why do some women seem to go after a man that they need to fix? Do men have the same tendency to hope that they can fix a woman to the way he wants or does he prefer the new model so to speak?

Advertisement